Until last night. It was a warm and humid, Paul was firing up the grill, and rosé seemed like the perfect choice. It was just what I was in the mood for, something clean, crisp, fruity, and not too complicated. I opened the bottle, poured out a heathy dose of the salmony-pink wine, and stuck my nose in the glass. What I smelled was anything but clean and crisp. There was a little vanilla, a hint of brown sugar, something vegetal, and, if I really searched for it, a layer of ripe red fruit underneath. What, exactly, was going on here?

In a word: oak. Turns out this wine is barrel-fermented and aged for five months in French oak. This adds some heft and richness to the wine, not characteristics normally associated with rosé. It’s a pretty unusual approach, although not entirely unheard of. (López de Heredia, an ultra-traditional producer in Rioja, ages its Viña Tondonia rosado in barrels for four and a half years, for example.)

Located in Southold, on the North Fork of Long Island, Croteaux Vineyards specializes in rosés, offering a number of still and sparkling variations on the theme of pink. In yet another unusual move, they name several of their wines after the variety of clone they’re made from–hence “Merlot 3.” (Clones are basically different “types” of the same grape. Producers choose what kind of clone, or clones, to use depending on a number of factors, including growing conditions and the characteristics they’re looking for in the wine.)

In my heart of hearts, I prefer the crisp, dry and fruity style to this oak-inflected one, but there’s lots to admire here. The toasty notes would make it a happy partner for smoked chicken or pork chops, and $18 is a decent price for a wine with this much personality. I’d be curious to see what happens to this wine with a little age on it. Rosés are usually meant to be drunk young, but the oak treatment here could provide some staying power. Mostly, I like this wine for what it represents: namely, that rosés aren’t monolithic, and there’s tremendous versatility and variety in this category.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting one of these very good people, Chris Phelps, the winemaker at Swanson Vineyards in the Napa Valley. (Oakville, to be precise.) Despite some pretty fancy names on his resumé — Chris studied at the University of Bordeaux, worked the remarkable 1982 vintage in St-Emilion, trained at Château Pétrus, and served as the winemaker at Dominus and Caymus — he is as unassuming and low-key as they come. Over dinner in Tribeca, Chris and I had the chance to talk about his work, French Tupperware parties, and what happens when you microwave wine. (Full disclosure: Chris provided the wines mentioned below for free. He is also good friends with my brother-in-law, the very talented designer Daniel Hale. Finally, he is the the mastermind behind the insanely good tri-tip I had at the Boy Scout picnic when I was out in St. Helena last October, which predisposed me to like the guy before I had even laid eyes on him.)

A few things to know about Chris, in no particular order:

1. He has terrific timing. After finishing his winemaking studies at UC Davis, he worked the 1982 harvest in Bordeaux, which is kind of like beginning your professional baseball career with the 1998 New York Yankees. The exceptionally warm vintage led to exceptionally rich wines, which set a new standard for Bordeaux. Lucky, lucky guy.

2. He’s a Cabernet and Merlot man. From his time in Bordeaux at Château Pétrus, source of arguably the world’s finest Merlot-based wine, and his work in Napa, he knows his way around these two varieties. He also knows how to make them work together nicely. Alexis, the seductive, iron-fist-in-a-velvet glove Cabernet Sauvignon-based wine that Swanson is best known for, benefits from the addition of a little Merlot. “It’s like sandpaper, smoothing out the edges of the Cabernet Sauvignon,” says Chris. “It really enables the blend to work.”

3. He’s not afraid to take an unpopular position. He knows that Merlot gets a bad rap–and rises to its defense. At tastings, when participants turn up their noses at Swanson’s well-made Merlot in favor of Alexis, Chris jokes that he has to “give himself a time out” so that he won’t get too agitated. It can be tough sometimes to make Merlot in this post-Sideways world.

4. He loves a good party. While Chris was working in Bordeaux, the elderly woman who lived next door invited him over for dinner one night. Chris showed up — and so did every woman in the village. Turns out she had invited him to a French Tupperware party. The evening’s highlight was her vin de noix, an apéritif based on walnuts. The drink stuck with him so much, he now makes his own for fun (not for sale, sadly).

5. He’s microwaved wine. One of his buddies in Bordeaux swore by this trick: nuke a bottle of wine for a few seconds to artificially “age” the wine. Chris isn’t a believer, but I love that he gave it a try.

1. Go indie. If possible, buy the wine directly from a store rather than going through a caterer or the event space. You’ll save money and have more control over your choices. Plus that way you can keep the leftovers — and bust out a bottle when you feel like reminiscing about the Big Day. My husband and I got married at a vineyard, and it’s always a special occasion whenever we open a bottle from there.

2. Options are good. Two kinds of white and two kinds of red will ensure that everyone is happy.

3. Say Olé. I often recommend wines from Chile and Argentina for weddings. They tend to have clear, bright fruit flavors that are good on their own as well as with food. You’ll want something your guests will enjoy while they’re waiting in line for the buffet, resting between courses, or taking a break from the dance floor. Also, they’re often crowd-pleasing wines that offer tremendous value. Think Sauvignon Blanc and Merlot from Chile, or Torrontés and Malbec from Argentina.

4. Don’t splurge on the sparklers. Please do not feel the need to spend a ton of cash on the finest champagne you can find. There are plenty of great value sparkling wines out there. If you’re doing the traditional post-dinner champagne toast, at that point in the evening, everyone will have had so much to eat and drink that their critical abilities will be somewhat impaired, shall we say. Of course, if you can afford Cristal for a crowd of 200, go for it! (And send me an invite, while you’re at it.)

5. Share. I have heard stories of wine-loving brides and grooms who served their guests cheap, mediocre wine while making sure their glasses were filled with pricey California Cabs and vintage champagne. This makes my skin crawl. You’ve asked your friends and family to fly in from around the world to be there for your Special Day and  you treat them like second-class citizens? Beyond tacky.

6. Don’t stress. There are many difficult decisions you’ll be making around your wedding day. This should not be one of them.